Coming home!!!! (only for the summer!)

This week is finals...BAHHHH!!! Stressed out to say the least. On top of that I need to pack up all my stuff, mail some and move some. Spend time with my friends before i leave. The list goes on....

But in all anticipation to see one little girl, I can barley stand myself. I catch myself tearing up every time i think of her, see a picture of her, and every time i hear her voice. I think about the sacrafice i made to be here often. And as much as it hurts my heart...I know it will all be worth it. I know I will come home a better mother because of all the missed time with her i cant wait to make it up all summer! I'm sure Jazz is going to be sick of me after a few days lol.

I love SAN FRANCISCO CALIFORNIA!!!!!!! And I can't describe to you how amazing this experience has been. But I can tell you it has changed me for life. I found myself here. I grew and learned alot. I feel less ignorant, less judgemental, less angry, i feel more happy, healthy, and beautiful all around. Some lessons were hard learned as I have mentioned school didn't turn out the way I hoped. I'm going to continue to go to school. I just picked a major that wasn't fit for me. Next year i'm sure will turn out much better. I found some life long amazing friends here. And I honestly believe I found love. I never thought I would say that again, and if I didn't move here i'm positive I wouldn't of.

Everything happens for a reason....every broken heart, every failed attempt, everything has a reason. I wouldn't be who I am today without all the hardships in my life. And i'm finally at a place in my life where i'm completely happy. And I can appreciate it now. If my faith ever dwindled ... it's here now.

I swear if it's one person at a time im going to change this world for the better. I want to help and encourage people that were in simular situations as me. Cause i know that feeling of hopelessness. I just lucked out i have amazing family and friends too put up with my shit and pick me up when i was at my lowest.

But now that my head is clear and i found peace in my heart, it's time to go home and make peace there. That is where i have done the most damage and it will be a true test to see if i really have changed and i am as strong as i think i am. I feel like you can't truely be happy in the present or future without making amends from the past. I will say change isn't and wasn't easy. And i'm still working on things. But man, i wish i wasn't so stubborn for so long, man i wasted so much time and energy being hurt, mad , and sad.

I miss home...i miss my family...and of course my daughter. This country girl is coming home. can't wait for barefoot, bon fires, fishing, family, fun! And O Yes, A COLD REFRESHING BUD LIGHT!!!!! lol. I hope the coming home party is as magical as the going away party was. Btw, mom don't forget to have a camera ready when i get off the plane. I don't want you to miss the moment i see jazz...o jeeze i'm already crying about it.

I love you all, and don't tune out this will be continued for a long time....i don't think this adventure will ever end! P.S. i've been praying all week that bringing Shawn home isn't going to scare him to much...he gets to meet pretty much my entire family and see the most redneck stuff we do all jammed into a week. poor guy haha...well if he loves me, he won't want to leave :) haha